My whole world had to collapse, and apparently, I had to lose everything I thought I had to make space for what I needed. At the very beginning, after all that needed to happen, happened - I said to myself that writing poems was all that I could do at that particular time. Awareness of the immense amount of work that eventually will have to be done mixed up with certainty that the whole process has to somehow start.

But really, I didn’t have much choice. That led me to the conclusion that If I ever wanted to make THIS dream come true, I had to focus only on what I had - namely, inspirations coming from life and an urge to write whenever I felt the PULL. (sth pulls me toward itself and I’m still not sure what it is)

The feeling of these “relatively simple” poems being able to expand into something bigger in the future was present. And so was a premonition that this phase would end eventually, so I couldn't afford to lose any of the given opportunities. Quite honestly, the search for words and sentences in my mind occupied it for most of my time, interweaved with worrying about the present and the future. Nevertheless, I consider this part of my life glorious and amazingly potent. The life gave me all the inspiration I truly needed.

Poems helped me to cope with what was around and inside, that’s how it all started. They were the fuel I needed so much, proof that there is something inside of me, an unknown small part that seeks to establish itself, all while being hidden under what layered me. I just had to keep going.

In the meantime, I had to move abroad for a job as a waiter/maintenance/cleaning staff. New place, “new” life - burdened with prejudice about myself and the world. Our inside can be changed, but that’s a tough task, and it requires loads of attention, effort, and persistence over time. Luckily, I had my whole life! :)

I have a DJ-400 controller. In this time of wild creations from the spoken world of words, I tried to kind of pump my energy up by making some mixes. Those later became essentially a soundtrack for my life.

So after a relatively short period of making those mixes, I decided that this was, in fact, not exactly what I wanted to pursue at the time so my attention diverged from this topic, with the hope that one day I’d be able to afford to spend more, of high efficiency and quality, time on it, so I could offer this to the world and myself.

Quite frankly, I almost haven’t touched the controller ever since. A big dose of excuses en route, but in the end, I preferred to be more patient and rather change life first. In such a future, more will be possible, compared to what is within my real reach now.

We will see what the future brings.

I decided to fully focus on sharing my poems, initially, the idea was to prepare some kind of “karaoke” type videos, where text appears alongside words. To make it more mine, I’ve prepared a font and simple illustrations to showcase the theme of each poem. After a heavy dose of tinkering, the idea turned into reality. 18 videos were made, showcasing the first “batch” of my poems in Polish.

Fun fact, I wanted to make illustrations that later could become tattoos, and one of them is now on my forearm! :)

Well, I’ve made the videos, but Ultra struggled when attempted to share them. The task of sharing it in this social media era was overwhelming. I honestly had no idea how to realize what was in my mind at that time.

And once again, I felt super empty, bombarded by weird thoughts and it took a while to distance myself from it. Hello void my old friend, happily, I’ve found something else to fill you a little bit up again…

In the process of poetry writing, I met someone who told me about 16 personality tests. That’s how I found out that I belong to a relatively rare type, Turbulent INFP, that’s me. I’ve read about their creativity, artistic attitude, “pros and cons” etc. I thought to myself, how can I find myself among successful others? What do I need to do? And how? Well, one of the answers you get to observe right now! 🙂

But back then I felt generally lost and was living in a pretty dull room and wanted to decorate it somehow with drawings attached to the whiteish walls. I bought some markers, paper and all the accessories.While watching some YT videos about INFPs I learned that they tend to be weird in a nice way. So that was the first drawing done by me, that later was hung just above my desk.

After that, my world started to flow again and walls began to fill up with tokes of life changing era. One of them: “The window to a new life” was the start of this magicfulCOLORS journey. This mind hook required a lot of work and thinking to become what it is now, and that’s just the beginning.

Many pieces were made and each served some purpose in my personal growth. At some point I ceased the process of making one drawing after another, my walls were filled. I started to wonder, whats next?

Happily, the period of new creative endeavor has arrived… Of course, after a period of darkness.

(most of drawings in a form of a pictures were used in my next creation)

In September of 2022 I didn’t know what to do next. Everything seemed to be closer than ever before, but yet so far… Everyday experiences made me think about writing a new poem, in which I’d state how, in fact, I wished my future life to look like. A few pre-attempts were necessary for me to reach a creative space in which everything started to pour out of me. That is my longest and most complex piece so far.
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Ok. But what’s next?

Life went by, and I was trying to improve my voice and kind of “decided”, that this is the best I have to offer. The idea of making a “poem-video” arose around November of 2022 and the work began.

I had the intention to prepare something unique and fully mine, containing no interference from the outside, in order, to post on YT on a particular day, 24.12.22. I wanted to give myself a gift for Christmas and make it like never before. I am, like many other people, no stranger to “bad” Christmas experiences.

Well, how to make it all happen? I needed a very precise plan! This was an opportunity to create something exceptionally coherent with my true self that I try to strive towards. Done fully my way, only then, this work would matter in the long term.

In the beginning, I just sat down and tried to imagine what would portray the content of each line. Keeping it relatively simple was important for me, so there were no second attempts and the first ideas were the last ones. After a few sittings, I had it all done and could proceed to the next steps.

When the plan template was ready, I decorated it accordingly and started to define groups of tasks, by stating what needed to be done. Drawings, voice recordings, movements, and all the small pieces were put in a neat plan that kept evolving throughout the process. This scenario allowed me to do what was needed. Soon I’ll make a short video about it.

Thanks to my engineering and tinkering background, I managed to learn Adobe Premiere Pro just enough to put everything together following the plan. Some of the needed resources were found online, especially transitions for Adobe PP, but most I did myself. All this work gave me plenty of experience needed further.An absolute dedication to the process led me to a finish line, posted it on 24.12.22 was, fulfilled my intention were.

Well, when the video was finished and published, once again I realized that more of inside work is necessary and void kind of hit me again. Nevertheless, ever since I have a point of reference, a guidance.

BECOME A PART OF SOMETHING AMAZING

Once again I made something only to realize that I had no idea what to do with it further. Honestly, it’s interesting to look at all of that from a different perspective now, by the time I write this text (03.03.24 11:15). The void seems to be a coherent part of the creative process and now, knowing that, the future might be easier.

I knew with all my heart that I lacked something, a thought came to my mind that “IT WILL PASS”, meaning this particular moment of my life, just like everything else. I honored that time with my first “drawing” with the intention of using it as a t-shirt design.

I knew that generally nothing is as easy as it seems and If I wanted to make it happen my way (which most likely has the highest chance of success), some special means had to be in my disposition.Nowadays, everything is in the internet. But I didn’t want to be dependent on what already was there and instead, wanted to be able to make something of my own. I decided to focus on learning how to make websites.

In 2022 I started to learn Webflow, which caught my attention by the amount of Power of Creation it offers.

So, the new phase began and I had to go back home. Little did I know what kind of experience this chapter will bring me…

In order to create, I need to live, and to do so, I have to provide for myself by doing something. Being able to do websites seemed to me like a perfect way to attempt to make some money and gather the necessary experience to bring my own ideas to life.

In January 2023 the journey began and I fully focused on learning how to do it. At that time, my initial idea was to open up an agency so the first reasonable step seemed to be composing a website that could convince this first client, that I was able to do something of value for them. Well, that was what I thought…

The process of finding out what and how to “do” was pretty hectic, but there is plenty of useful information, courses, and resources around that were worth investing my time and money in.

I moved from abroad back to my home in Poland and had to cope both with a challenge I was engaged in and my family situation. This gave me plenty of valuable insights into myself.

It took me about three months to learn, do, and transform my imaginational ideas into a working website. From not knowing much to being able to do more, but still, as I found out after finishing, not enough.

When my “agency’s” website was ready, I once again hit the void, realizing that actually way more is required to be able to run such an agency.

While constructing this website, intention to get a job before my 30th birthday was my companion. I wasn’t able to create a job for myself, so I had to find one. I did it two days before my birthday which is on 13th of April. That day I woke up as a 30 y.o. man on my teenager-self mattress and started to pack my things, because the next day I was bound to leave abroad once again.

A new chapter of my life began…

I became a waiter-bartender in Ireland. Oh boy, this job taught me so much! A lot about myself, people, and the world. The opportunity to be able to talk to so many people daily turned out to be invaluable.

It gave me stability and income that provided a solution for my past  “mistakes”. Lessons maybe? In the end, I used to be in a certain mental position when these choices seemed right. Lessons that gave me a new life, maybe?

Some time ago I thought that I AM WATING FOR LIFE. But now, I know that it’s not the act of waiting, but creating that drives me. Now (while writing this) I smile. This is one of many simple gifts of creation that I offer to myself and YOU!

BECAUSE YOU DECIDE HOW FAR I CAN GO.

When I started, the idea was still emerging in my mind, and quite frankly, all I had was just a few pieces of a great puzzle. I knew that this is, actually, all that I needed at the moment because I’d learned that thanks to previous creative endeavors.

The website was kind of a mind hook, and the idea for magicfulCOLORS started to unveil itself thanks to everyday “work” and attention.The goal of it is to invoke in you this specific WOW EFFECT. I assumed that I had the biggest chance of success if I offered something of a specific kind of value, something never seen before.

The canvas is unlimited and possibilities are endless. But how to grab attention? I presume that it has to kind of “hit you in the face” with its uniqueness.

The idea of a website that grabs attention emerged when I was digging out information about something I wanted to do later that year, which I thought would allow me to start a new, unknown to me version of my life. BUT QUITE FRANKLY, you are someone who can help me in a certain way so I can “repay” you with my creations in the future.

This website goal is to start gathering a base of contact with the real people, that found my creative endeavor “worthy” of their attention. That’s how something big starts and I would be honored to share it with you.

I’ve tried to put all my heart into my work. I know, that the first impression can be made only once. Each section is a big chunk of my life and came into existence via expanding, rearranging, and shifting different mind hooks. Add something, take most away, leave only essentials, and make it as nice as possible.

The amount of knowledge I gathered on the way is immense, and all of that opens gates to new possibilities. The thing is, these require even more knowledge. This circle never ends, and that’s its beauty.

Foundations are the most important. Growth isn’t visible at the beginning.

What’s on the other side?

That's a name for video documentation of a process on various stages , showcasing by tiny bit my mental attitude back at this moment. Both gift to myself from the future and soothing balm needed at particular moment of my past.

The process of growth definitely isn't finished, but website is at the moment of writing is almost. Today is 16.10.24 21:49, and tomorrow is the supper moon. I suppose that tomorrow I'll have my webiste pretty much ready in the terms of content, used animations and generall setting. Happily my friday and saturday I'm off and I'll have time to work on adjusting it to mobile devices.

Good, I'll still have one week till planned launch around spooky season, my last weekend while staying in the Netherlands, before moving to Finland to reset my senses in sense resetting settings of nature behind Arctic Circle in Lapland.

Today I heard that this supermoon will aplify all that you are, gladly I managed to reach a positive mental space, where I appreciate myself and I'm content.

I am lost inside this process for so long, that it completely became my life and thanks to all the signs confirming that I did not disappoint, I became anchored.

Still a lot to be done, but wow. This is really happening. What a vibe...

SO CHECK MY YOUTUBE, enjoy the process. We can go far!